It has been a while since I lived out of a car on purpose. The “Stars and Bars Stand Up Tour” I recently completed was a good one and deserves a recap…

The wheel job from NYC to first official night of the tour at Celtic Ray in Punta Gorda FL was 20 hour stretch so a stop was in order and I wanted it to be productive. I found a comedy club about half way and convinced them to give me a spot as an audition and a rehearsal of sorts for me. I got there early enough to brush my teeth in the parking lot and check escape routes. The universe will give you signs if you are paying attention and mine came about 20 minutes befor I pulled in the parking lot. The road into town had tobacco plants planted next to a graveyard. I tweeted that this was the only area you would see something like this and the only area that can not see the irony in it… A crowd of 15 stumbled in slowly to the venue and my turn at the mike came early in the show. Doing well in front of 400 people is real cool, hitting it with a small crowd is a ridiculious high and I’m clipping it people. After my set I talked to the oddly indifferent owner who told me that he’s unwilling to add me to his talent rotation. It’s his place, so he can run it as he sees fit. But what stuns me is what he says after that. “You’re close… You’ll get there.” Sorry scallop bag, I just turned a room with 15 people in it upside down-I’m THERE. I will also be THERE 6 months from now when your club is dollar store. On my way out of town I passed the tobacco lined graveyard and it all came into perspective for me.

The next couple of shows were well attended and I had good performances (capped by a standing o one night!) But the show in Clearwater FL at Jack’s Joint was my favorite of the tour. A 11th hour addition to the tour, this show was on a night they are not normally open. We knew ahead of time the crowd might be light, however the point of this show was to expand the fan base into a new market and the Coconut’s Comedy Club people really got behind the show. I phoned the club to see what they were saying about the upcoming performance and was told “Sunday night we have a real special show! John McClellan from “Millionaire Matchmaker” will be here. He’s been around a long time and has done a lot of shit!” I love the fact that the guy was so excited about it but the best part was he was right. I HAVE done a lot of shit. Not all of it good-but it’s out there and it can be verified by a long list of ex-girlfriends and attorneys. That night was, in my mind, some of the best stand up I have done in a while. Good enough to ease the sting of doing my wash in a strip center the next day.

Good nights at the Orlando Improv and at the Bleu Pub in Valdosta, GA followed with the last stop on the coast of North Carolina at Playhouse 211. Normally a theater space, Playhouse 211 offered up a night of my stand up as a special engagement. We had a full house but not my normal crowd of 40 oz bangers. The lot was full of Lincolns and import 4 doors and I’m telling you, if I don’t see a car with some primer on it, I get a little edgy. The dressing room had a bottle of single malt waiting for me and as I mentioned before-the universe will give you a sign if you stay aware. I accepted 2 glasses of this gesture and took the stage after Doug Canney set the table for me. I spent the next 60 minutes doing my show like I was trying to talk my out of a speeding ticket. Turned out to be a good idea. At least I think it was. When I came around to the front of the theater to sign some pictures (a custom at the Playhouse 211) I heard a pounding on the showroom door. The fucker was locked! These folks had to stay for the whole show whether they wanted to or not.

The Stars and Bars Stand Up Tour was a real success. You can check out the pictures from the shows on my Facebook page. Every venue on this run was a new one for me with the exception of the Improv and I will be returning to all of these clubs as soon as I run out of fireworks.