There is a school down the street from me that is named after somebody but everyone just calls it “The School’ as I am sure they do in most places. I find it ironic that we have a school named after someone but nobody ever bothered to learn the name.

Schools aren’t the only things that have names bestowed upon them. Bridges are named after people. That is actually helpful since you can cure that person out after paying the exorbitant toll for crossing it. Streets carry people’s names as well, but that just confuses things. The street already has a name and now there is a second name that isn’t used. All you need to do to see my point is to ask directions: “Just go down that road with all the fast food places until you go under that asshole’s bridge and make a left at the school.”

I am sure getting a school, bridge or a street named after you is a high honor, but when you receive that honor, you are too long dead enough reap any hashtag traction out of it.

If you want to live forever in the minds of the citizens, there is only one way. Get your name on a bottle of booze. Jack, Johnnie and Jose are all common first names but if I am speaking about alcohol-you know exactly what I am talking about. Having name place on a liquor label not only makes you well known locally, it makes you famous internationally for generations to come.

What about the names of the immortal that appear on these bottles that weren’t real people? In my latest episode of Pour Choice: The Funniest Booze Reviews-BAR NONE! I examine 3 of these titans of the bottom shelf. I give you their stories and, as is the custom on the show, sample a bit of their concoctions.

I hope you enjoy the episode more than I did drinking their products…

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